the sometimes nothingness

The sometimes nothingness
of you
the harbinger that meant
I knew
you were gone
and wouldn't hold on

The everyday smile
and grace
the look of love apparent
on your face
was missing and vapid
your exit hectic and rapid

And you were not you
and I was not me
and we are not now
what we were meant
to be
or not, it's up to God
I just wish you'd end this fraud.

And at least be the brave girl
who I once knew
The amazing woman
who grew and grew
and not this
whatever you are
you had come so far

To throw it away
to try to go back
to whatever it was
with that crazy whack
and get whacked
come on baby
you're better than this maybe.